Tips for the Maid of Honor

Make your best friend’s wedding unforgettable

You are the lucky chosen one! Your best friend is getting married, and she chose you to be her maid of honor! This doesn’t only mean that the bride considers you her closest person, it means she trusts you and believes that you’re the one that’s going to make her dreams possible. Because sure, she got the wedding planner, the photographer, the musicians and the venue, but you are her maid of honor, and none of this is as important as your role.

You’re probably starting to feel the stress grow in your chest… maybe you should, and shouldn’t. See, being the maid of honor is an honor, but it’s also a responsibility. However, it’s one of the most beautiful responsibilities. You get to be your best friend’s support and help her through the most beautiful moments in her life, taking a little bit of her stress out of her shoulders.

You’re going to enjoy this to the very last bit, because your role is to make her happy by being happy. You’re her shoulder to cry on, her go to whenever she’s stressed, pissed or happy, and, most importantly, you’re her party person.

A maid of honor’s role:

Technically, you have to attend the wedding ceremony and assist the bride on her special day. But, of course, you’re gonna be doing way more than that!

Your work will start the moment she shows you that beautiful shinny rock on her finger. After the jumping and screaming, it’s time to get to it. You will be there every step of the way, sometimes even more than the groom himself.

First things first, you will probably be there for the big decisions, like the perfect wedding destination. You two know each-other so well, you probably already know where her dream wedding takes place, and you also know if that’s going to be possible considering reality. So you will help her choose the destination, between dream and reality, where the wedding will take place. A church in Paris? A beach in Portugal? A castle in France? Brainstorm with her before she goes to her fiancée

Once the wedding destination is set, the rest of the wedding planning can take place. As her maid of honor, accompanied by the bridesmaids, you will help with the dress. Oh yeah, especially knowing that the groom is not supposed to see the dress before the big day. It’s going to be long and time-consuming, and of course, stressful for the bride. She wants THE dress, not any dress, and that’s not easy to find… so your work is not only to help her look, it’s to make these few days of looking and trying on hundreds of dresses as fun and relaxing as it can get. Champagne, wine, chocolates, little snacks, dance breaks, anything you think she’ll like and will take her head off of the dress for a few minutes.

You will also probably want to make some calls for her. She has a whole wedding to plan and there are so many people involved. She will certainly need help, and who better to call than her maid of honor. You can help her define exactly what she wants and also help her explain it to the wedding planner. You can also help her with choosing the guests and then making the invitations. See, there are so many details that need to be taken care of in a wedding that helping her with some of them will mean the world to the bride. So accompany her in her search for the perfect place, be there for her if her dream wedding destination is not possible or available, try to comfort her if everything doesn’t go as planned, because it probably won’t… Being her maid of honor really just means being her best friend in the most beautiful but stressful moment of her life!

Now comes the best part, the fun part… The PARTY! There are two main parties that you will have the opportunity to organize, but of course you can make as many parties as you want. I mean, it’s her wedding, and if she likes to party and you like organizing them, there are so many themed parties you can do to make the months between her engagement and her wedding the best months she’ll ever have. I mean, off the top of my head, engagement party! Reverse roles party! How-well-do-you-know-each-other party! And so many more! But there are two parties that you will probably not want to miss and that the bride will just LOVE: the Bridal Shower and the Bachelorette Party.

The bridal shower typically takes place around two months before the big day and it’s usually just for the bride-to-be, but many couples want to enjoy this party together, making it a wedding shower. It really just started off as an event to give gifts to the bride-to-be so she could afford getting married, and the gifts tradition didn’t die out… it’s a shower for a reason! But today, we make an event out of it and everyone, especially the bride, enjoys it! The bridal shower is usually hosted during the afternoon, or evening, and the people attending are the bride’s closest friends and family members. This is an event for her, so really think about what she will want, what she really likes, what themes would make her happy, etc. you can put up a little bar, organize some games, it’s completely up to you, and of course, up to the bride!

Now it’s time for the bachelorette Party. Well, technically, before the bachelorette you may have to attend other pre-wedding events, like the rehearsal wedding dinner/ceremony, or go with her to the venue to make sure everything is going the way she wants to, maybe help her with the cake tasting (I know this is usually a decision the soon-to-be-married couple makes together, but if you’re lucky enough, you will either be a part of it or the bride-to-be will come to you after the tasting with her fiancé to make sure she’s making the right cake-choice and, well, you get to taste some wedding cake before the wedding and maybe manipulate her into choosing the French cake instead of a simple creamy one). Anyway, after all of this, it’s your job to organize the bachelorette and be the best maid of honor she could ever dream of (assuming that she wants a bachelorette, of course. Some people don’t want bachelorettes parties and you cannot force them into it… or can you?).

We all know the typically bachelor/bachelorette idea: booze, strippers and dancing! Of course, you can base your party on that, but you don’t have to. If this is not your way of partying, if this is not something the bride-to-be will enjoy, just don’t do it. There are tons of ways you can organize this bachelorette party following what you all like, especially the bride. So the first thing you want to do is talk to her AND her fiancé. I know they will not be together for this bachelorette (or maybe they do want to do it together, again, their choice), but they are a couple and you have to respect what they want, and the rules, if there are any. Discuss the theme of the party, the crazy level and of course, how many days it’s going to take. Maybe you’re just planning a one night bachelorette or a full day with everything included, but maybe you want to plan a whole weekend bachelorette, a trip bachelorette or a week-long bachelorette. You have to make sure that the bride wants this too and, of course, if she can! Not only is she overwhelmed by the wedding planning but maybe also her job won’t let her off for so many days. Once you’ve got all of this settled, plan the party with the rest of the girls. You are her maid of honor, but you don’t have to do it all on your own. Not only they can help, they will want to. It’s an event for all of you to enjoy together! But don’t forget to not, I repeat, NOT, plan EVERYTHING! Sure, you have to plan, but not to the very last detail. It’s a moment to enjoy, not to stress about the timing and the steps.

See, being a maid of honor is all fun and games! Although, little tip, don’t forget to establish a budget. Between the parties, the dresses, and maybe the travel tickets and the hotel reservations, especially if you live in the United States and she decided on a Parisian wedding (that plane ticket will cost a little fortune), you will want to set a budget so you’re able to organize everything without breaking the bank.

Through all this you will be the bride’s emotional support. All through the planning, the decisions, the choices, the “do I want a French wedding with Indian details in Spain or do I just want to serve Paella as the main dish while dancing to one Indian song through the whole wedding that’s taking place in Paris”, you will be there to hold her and support her. There are so many things she will not want to share with her fiancé, or maybe she can’t, because it’s related to her dress, her vows, or her doubts. Yes, she may have some doubts along the way, she may have a few breakdowns, and you will have to be there to pick up the pieces and remind her why she loves her fiancé so much and why she wanted to get married in the first place! You are her maid of honor, but your most important task is being her emotional support.

Alright, after this, not much to do anymore, except of course, well, attend the wedding! The bride is happy, the groom is happy and let’s hope that you are too. You made it to the wedding and you’ve been an exceptional maid of honor. Your job here is done! Now go congratulate the bride and pat yourself in the back… you’ve done an amazing job!

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